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Ashley Cook thought Wizard University was going to be amazing, and it is. To a point. There's one problem, though: War Magic. She just wants to learn to Summon but to do that she'll need to pass her second year War Magic course, and that means winning duels.
She's terrible at winning duels.
Opportunity presents itself in the form of a demon and a deal, both of which she knows she shouldn't trust... but she needs them to have a hope at a future.
This is a collection of all 9 novellas in the Ash and Magic trilogy: Summoner, Thief, Warlock, Screwed, Desperate, Winning?, Cass, Smith and Melketh. Read the whole series in one place!
- Sales Rank: #1207543 in eBooks
- Published on: 2015-05-04
- Released on: 2015-05-04
- Format: Kindle eBook
Most helpful customer reviews
2 of 2 people found the following review helpful.
Lots of potential, but lack of developmental editing makes the end-product bitterly disappointing.
By BookWorm016
There are some spoilers below.
PROS:
* I rooted for Ash. Yes, she makes some godawfully stupid choices, but I really did want her to succeed.
* Ash was an active, not a passive, protagonist. I really appreciate this in any fiction. She didn't wait around for things to happen *to* her; she went out and took care of business. She had initiative.
* The action scenes, particularly in the battle arena, were extremely arresting and I found myself at the edge of my seat. These were, in my opinion, the very best part of the books.
* Melketh was an extremely promising character. The promise didn’t really deliver, in the end (see CONS), but he definitely got me into the books.
* The dialogue was pretty good banter and flowed better than in a lot of books.
* The covers are amazing.
* Few grammatical errors, especially compared to the majority of self-pubbed books on Amazon.
* The magic system is very clearly laid out and logical. There’s nothing confusing about it and I felt like I understood it pretty well--something I always look for in a fantasy book.
CONS:
* Minor grammar issues. For the most part, these weren’t a problem. The author primarily has a good grasp of grammar. Still, when I did come across them I thought: “Did she not do a line-by-line edit”?
* Some incorrect word choices, eg “lead” instead of “led,” “canon” instead of “cannon,” “pour” instead of “pore.” See above.
* Intermittent departure from the limited 3rd person limited POV to other characters’ POVs in the narration, which was jarring. Somewhat related to this, there were also moments where characters knew things they could not possibly have known, eg an imprisoned character (Frank) who had been imprisoned for a long time but was inexplicably aware of his mistress’ release from her captivity, which had happened only months before in a completely different plane of existence. These moments were also jarring.
* Dialogue problems. Yes, I noted dialogue in the pros as well, but it also has some big problems. While the banter often feels natural (as opposed to stunted), there is nothing to differentiate any character’s intonations or word choices from any other. This was particularly a problem with Melketh and the other demons who are implied to be thousands upon thousands of years old, and yet speak at the same level of vocabulary, intonation, and word usage as a 20 year old college student. Worse, there were lots of annoyingly repetitive pieces of dialogue, to wit: “Oh?” and “you know.” There was one point at which the line “Oh?”/”Oh.” was repeated at least 4-6 times in the space of 3 pages.
* At least 1/8 of the book was needless exposition, and should have been cut. Ms. Park either told me what was going on instead of showing me through dialogue and actions, or more frustratingly, showed me AND THEN TOLD ME ANYWAYS, which felt insulting to my intelligence.
* Things that feel like they should be crucial components of the story come off as plot devices. In the conversation Ash first has with Melketh, his hesitation when he asks for one of the arena crystals leads me to believe that he has some ulterior motives concerning the crystal itself, i.e. that getting his hands on one gives him power. Instead, the crystals turn out to be wholly irrelevant to the story, simply a plot device intended to introduce the Order when it hunts Ash down for stealing them.
* Lack of foreshadowing makes important twists seem sudden, so it comes across as twists written for shock value than organic to the story.
* Ash’s motivations for her actions make her unsympathetic at times. She turns Melketh’s offer of making her a warlock down at first, realizing doing so would make her a coward. Her motivation to change her mind is essentially egotistical--she doesn’t want the schoolyard bully to get the best of her. I don’t really see how this changes things, and I felt like she really did take the cowardly way out. It would have been far more sympathetic if she had a non-ego-related complication, like having to save her best friend (etc).
* Lack of round characters outside of the MC. Melketh, in particular, turned out to be a huge disappointment. Ash’s reaction to him early in the story is promising, and he seems to be a virile, dangerous, threatening specimen…up until we get to know him. Then he seems to have the same maturity level as Ash herself, and little private initiative except for at the end of the story, when he still depends entirely on Ash’s actions to betray her. Worse, I really, really, really, really, really wanted to see his emotional conflict when he betrayed her--I got that the author was trying to go there because multiple other characters tell Ash he seemed sincere in his regrets…but then Melketh himself ruined this by showing the complete opposite through his actions, when he has absolutely no problem killing Ash. Another letdown was Ash’s battle magic teacher. I wanted more foreshadowing up front regarding his true motivations, and more explanation at the end. He was one of the few extremely promising characters I just didn’t see enough of.
* Who was the target audience here? At times the book seems YA; at other times it’s too heavily erotic to ever be YA.
* The “novels” are novellette-length, not novel-length. Only combined are they novel-length. The “series” is essentially the set of parts that make up a single book. This makes me feel a bit ripped-off, as if Ms Park wanted 3x the cash for a single novel. (NOTE: I'm writing this review on the single volume, though I bought the three books individually. Still, she calls this volume a "complete series" when it's actually a single novel.)
SUMMARY:
The book was at least three or four edits from being done. If I’d been a beta-reader for this story as it is now, I would have been really excited to read it and told the author she had an unpolished gem on her hands. Unfortunately, though at the level of a rough draft, Ms Park chose to publish the book long before it was actually ready, leaving multiple glaring problems in that seriously detracted from my reading pleasure. I find the untapped potential of the book really disappointing because it seems like it could have been a fantastic bestseller had Ms Park just spent more time editing and perfecting, and combined the multiple “books” into the one novel they really are.
Why did I give the book 4 stars despite all the CONS above? I don’t feel I’m comparing this to trad-pubbed books but to other self-pubbed books. Among *those*, the book does rise above the offal. I want to say that I did enjoy the books and read them through quickly without hesitating to buy all three. I felt like I could see the potential, awesome novel that lay buried beneath this one, and that novel is a great one. I guess that’s why they disappointed me so much, in the end: it’s such a shame that the author was too impatient to edit the books enough to live up to that fantastic potential.
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